a strawberry gen(t)

Hey there kiddy winkies,

I have some thang to share. But before that, I must warn you that all people named here have had their real names changed slightly, only slightly though.

According to wikipedia, the strawberry generation (Chinese草莓pinyinCǎoméi zú;or 草莓世代cǎoméi shìdàiis a Chinese-language neologism for Taiwanese people born after 1981 who “bruise easily” like strawberries – meaning they cannot withstand social pressure or work hard like their parents’ generation; the term refers to people who are insubordinate, spoiledselfisharrogant, and sluggish in work.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry_generation

Ah spoiledselfisharrogant, and sluggish in work, that sure rings a (loud) bell. I used to work with such an illustrious gentleman. Not Taiwanese but same, same chararacteristics nevertheless.

And then, hold on a sec dude, there have always been a SG (strawberry gent not gen) in wherever I work. Yeah, including the present factory where I am now chained to: mindlessly assembling words and sentences (then checking if they were glued together the right side up).

However, I am happy to report, this sweet SG jerk is not at all insubordinate. Oh no, he is a first class ass kisser with his, “hi, Swiss … hi Mister Swing and hi guys, how’s it going? Oh hello there Swearingdick.”

Here then, are his other attributes:

  1. Spoiled: You can’t be more loved than be given the least work to do by the chief cook. While every other kitchen slave gets his or her load of garbage to organise and cook, he gets all of one cucumber to chop.
  2. Selfish: He is not. Generous to a fault, he makes sure every slave gets a fair share of work. “Fair” is a relative word in his dick-tionary.
  3. Arrogant: If there is a monthly award for it, he’ll sweep the floor. Typical vomit pouring from his mouth: “this is so badly written!”. Well, that one time got him into a right pickle when the writer of that so-called “badly written” article overheard it!
  4. Sluggish: Oh yes he is indeed a fine crawler. But you wouldn’t know it the way he murders and pounds his keyboard with pretentious flourish. And, for maximum effect, he does not sit either. He prefers to stand at his desk to “work”. Nothing to do with his height. But if you want to know, he is not that tall. Okay, short for such a gentle man.
  5. Bruise easily: How can I put this? If you are a man and you act like a matured woman, can you be called a sensitive bitch? Not exactly politically correct I know but wtf who gives a shit right? I’m an old, old, ancient even, uncle oredi lah wei. A classic example: “So, Strawberry Boy, how old are you?” Answer: “I can’t tell you.” Like whaaaat? Are you scared I won’t date you ah? Ahem. So, with a flinch, I scream away like a girl. No more girly questions for Mister Jay Long from today.

 

Here is an excellent example at 4:20:

 

And … a standing desk or stand-up desk is a desk conceived for writing or reading while standing up or while sitting on a high stool. During the 18th and 19th centuries, standing desks were popular in the homes and offices of the rich. Standing desks have regained some popularity due to purported health benefits, though such benefits have not yet been clearly established.

Notable users of standing desks include Leonardo da Vinci, US founding father Benjamin FranklinThomas Jefferson, Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., British Prime Minister Winston Churchill, author Virginia Woolf, songwriter Oscar Hammerstein II, author Ernest Hemingway, and author Nathaniel Hawthorne.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Standing_desk

So dear reader, do you have a SG gent or lady getting your panties in a twist? Mine are in a miserable tangle since he appeared … although I don’t wear panties, boxers are less, er, tight and restricting. But you get it right?

Or maybe you happen to work with a bunch of SG kiddies? Well, just suck it up bro, sista, because it ain’t easy to get or keep a paying gig in 2017 (and the cumming 2018). Although I know one Ralna chick who has been headhunted a million times.

 

You can observe her humble boasts here:

https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=4405494&hl=ralna

 

So, now I have cleared all that rambling, nasty bitching diarrhoea from my chest, maybe I’ll just curl up and die now?

Oh wait, can I just finish watching episode 14 first?

http://kissasian.ch/Drama/Because-This-is-My-First-Life/Episode-13?id=35329

 

 

 

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Accountant loses RM250,000 to phone scammers

 

What? You call yourself an Accountant? Anyway … have a good laugh reading but don’t end up like him oh!!!

by Charles Ramendran
newsdesk@thesundaily.com

PETALING JAYA: A 52-year-old accountant lost RM250,000 to telephone scammers who convinced him that the security of his bank accounts had been compromised.
After unsuspectingly complying with the instructions of the scammers and seven bank transactions later, he never heard from them again.
The man was at his USJ 8 home on Oct 6 when he received a text message at about 1.30pm from an unknown number.
The message – similar to that sent by credit card companies when a transaction takes place claiming that a purchase was made at the KL International Airport 2 with a credit card under the victim’s name.
Taken aback by the message as he neither owned a credit card nor had he applied for one, the victim called a telephone number provided in the text message – supposedly that of Bank Negara.
Subang Jaya police chief ACP Mohammad Azlin Sadari said the victim then spoke to an “officer”, who went by the name “Tuan Gan”, and told him that he did not have any credit cards.
He said the “officer” told the victim that his bank account and PIN numbers had been hacked into and his savings were at the risk of being lost.
Mohammad Azlin said to safeguard his cash, the “officer” ordered the victim to transfer his funds to “secure” accounts for safety.
He said the “officer” provided the victim with numbers of four bank accounts.
The anxious accountant went on to transfer his funds to the accounts and later when he realised he had been conned, he lodged a police report.
Mohammad Azlin said the case is being investigated for cheating.

Oh my Sabrina

Sabrina Quigley Chin
1st

Sabrina Quigley Chin

Commercial Model/Actress + Founder of HE & SHE Management. Current: PR Manager of XES/Shellys Marketing S/B

Current
  1. Shellys Marketing Sdn Bhd / Brand: XES
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  • my.linkedin.com/pub/sabrina-quigley-chin/21/b58/781

Background

Summary

Sabrina Quigley Chin, a commercial model and actress, famously known for her pan asian look, the petite lass is very much in the public eye. She amassed a varied portfolio in TV Commercials & Print Advertisements for big brands like Gold Heart Jewelry outlet posters, OGAWA Face of EZThrive, Shokubutsu, L’oreal, Nissan, Kenny Rogers Roasters, TruDtox, Malaysia Airports Print Ad Campaign, Tropicana Mall, A Cut Above, Amway, CIMB, Lumbermart & more.

For international commercials, such as Watsons advertisement in 9 countries, Exxon Mobil in Singapore, Billboard for Hilton Hotel in Beijing Wangfujing Pre-Opening Ad Campaign,etc. She was also into acting for ASTRO Chinese drama & carried a small role German drama which on aired in Germany & Australia.

The humble Sabrina has been interviewed & graced in magazines & papers such as The Star Newspaper, Virtual Malaysia Magazine, Feminine Magazine, Jasmine Magazine, FHM Magazine, NewMan Magazine, Shift Magazine, Cleo Magazine, Faces Magazine, NewLife Post Paper, Sin Chew Daily Newspaper, China Press Newspaper, NewTide Magazine Malaysia, Guang Ming Daily, The Heat paper & many more.

Sabrina decided to start up a modeling agency in the year 2009 that would helps the potential petite models to discover their talent in the modeling world. He & She Management has quickly made into international arena in the second year in their services of supplying talents for commercials, fashion shows, hair shows, road shows, exhibitions, beauty pageants & etc.

Besides an artiste & the Founder of He & She Management, she also play other roles in the industry as a Grooming Guru, Image / Fashion Stylist, Choreographer, Judge for beauty pageants & etc. Also, run Project Management & decorations for clients/event companies, etc.

IPB Image
As a Grooming Guru, courses are designed in a tuition basis to provide a complete attention to students to learn all the necessary ropes (beauty/make up, hair do, poses, expressions, etc).

Specialties:For business,please contact me via HE &SHE Email Address:
– sabrina.henshe@gmail.com
– sabrina@henshe.com.my
– henshe.freelancejob@gmail.com

To book myself for TVC, Print Ads & Acting, please contact me via my Personal Email Address:
– sabrinaquigley@gmail.com

A Cut Above - 1st Hair Look Book - 2007

A Cut Above – 1st Hair Look Book – 2007

A Cut Above - 1st Hair Look Book - 2007

A Cut Above – 1st Hair Look Book – 2007

MYC! News Magazine - Loreal Lip Gloss Fashion Spread 2007

MYC! News Magazine – Loreal Lip Gloss Fashion Spread 2007

Attitude - 2006/07

Attitude – 2006/07

TruDtox Press ad @ The Star Newspaper 2007/08/09/10

TruDtox Press ad @ The Star Newspaper 2007/08/09/10

Experience

PR Manager

Shellys Marketing Sdn Bhd / Brand: XES

December 2013 – Present (2 months)

Courses

Independent Coursework

  • D’Models Basic
  • Feminine U – Grooming Course

Recommendations

a few, slightly annoying thAngs

1. There’s this chap at work.

Who, every time he arrives at work, begins a ritual of cleaning his keyboard. Yes, keraaaaaak, kerrraaaaaaaak, he’ll wipe it every fooking day.

As if? As if when he wasn’t around some body sprinkled poison dust on it ?

Slightly annoying. Okay YUUGEELY irritaing, especially as I’m afflicted with that dementia-like annoyance, ya, OCD (go google it for full disclosure).

 

2. This same chap.

Who, every time he arrives at work, greets every body: “Hi, guys…”

Yes, every body around him receives a warm “hi”.

Except me. And I fucking sit directing across this chap. What gives?

How lah dei? Never mind, only slightly annoying.

 

3. This same chap knows fuck-all.

I announced this “breaking news” just now:

https://www.nst.com.my/news/nation/2017/10/291320/tony-fernandes-marries-korean-sweetheart-france

And he challenges it and says proudly that it’s “fake news”.

Well, well, time to eat your own dick, arrogant douche bag.

 

(Shall add even more as the day progresses Princess Frozen Thorn, wink, wink.)

 

 

Why you need to name one best war movie of all time

[this is a draft…it is work in progress:]

It is dead simple. And this is directed at the male species. Do you wish to be subjected to ridicule when small talk comes round to ‘war movies’ after a long, heated one about ‘hot movies’.

Then there is this thing about authenticity. If you happen to know about World War II tanks like I do you will be gleefully tickled or deeply horrified by all the fake WWII German tanks behaving like real ones running blitzkrieg-like across Europe.

The excuse is that none are available. Or if they were available there were not enough or they would not even fire up. So, conveniently for the movie-makers, American M24 tanks with a black cross painted on them are always pressed to do the honours.

But, as always, I am getting ahead of myself. What I wish to illuminate is that if want to be a real man (and nowadays, or so I’m told, ladies want to be real ‘men’ too whatever that may be). Back to the real man bit: as a man, you really ought to know some thing about war.

About how man kills man. Mercilessly. Oh yes and sometimes even over a woman. Helen of Troy I think it was. 300 was a bloody movie wasn’t it?

Let us not go so far back. For today’s project, let us just take on World War II, Vietnam and the Gulf wars.

So, if don’t even like watching men slaughtering each other, why bother?

And that is how you talk war movies.

There are not many Gulf war movies. Most movies

HOW NOTHING HAPPENED WHEN A WHOLE LOTTA SHIT COULD HAVE … AND HOW I PRAYED (FOR DIVINE INTERVENTION)

My car, the KooNing broke down.

DSC_0172

(Above, after she was pushed to the side of the road by some kind folks, out of harm’s way, thank God)

Big deal hah? It the fooking is when she chose to stop on the far right, that is almost in the middle, of a 2-lane road.

Which was at the end of a round-about. And at the end of a down-hill. Just the perfect place to practise braking hard and trying not to hit an idiot (that would be me) “parked” in an absolutely no-parking place.

I say to self: Switch on hazard lights. Open up boot lid. Like, pronto dude! And…

Pray. Hard.

Can’t be more dangerous right?

Pray some more. Harder this time.

No vehicle has kissed my KooNing yet. Many threatened to tho. I think they were practising their braking and swerving skills. And perhaps their swearing skills as well.

Allow me to dig up one of God’s proverbs here, 15:8 in the Bible, it says, “the Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked but the prayer of the upright pleases Him.”

A million thanks my benevolent Lord. Because I wasn’t far into my 25-km journey, only 3km or so. Is it luck or my blessed Lord looking out for me?

Oh dear, so many questions for the Lord. Do I have enough faith? Do you?

Well, can’t let the Lord do every thing can we? So a call to my regular mechanic and up he arrives 33 minutes later. Tried to start the engine. No good.

Pray? No answer.

Answer comes in another way. Oh my.

A dude on a tractor drives up, parks it and suggests and offers to push poor KooNing out of harm’s way.

He was God sent?

No?

Well, believe it or not, another secondary school kid, a fat one at that, with no business to stop, stopped; got down from his pukka bike and helped the other two to push me (I was at the wheel obviously).

Halleluyah, I say. Double Halleluyah.

This is probably why I wrote this story. Or was it all about answered prayers?

Ah, wtf, all I want to lead this story up to is that, amazingly, that school kid is a Malay. And he did it automatically. Just like that. No questions asked. No wild waving from us to ask him to help. Incredible. Stupendous. Thank God I say.

The mechanic and tractor dudes were Chinese. All we need is an Indian to turn up, eh?

So Sehati, Sejiwa. One Heart, One Soul and all that shit. So the 58th Independence Day theme is da best so far then.

Sniff.

Anyway, my miserable ass is still alive, the car is safe from being back-ended, the engine is still fooking dead, while the foreman by the name of Ah Fatt, is ordered back to da workshop since it’s no forking load of good him chit-chatting with me while waiting for the tow truck is it?

The boss, Daniel Lee Thien Soon of S Power, calls for the tow truck. But this one is not his regular one. Wait I must I guess.

And … is it another miracle? Today, September 2 just happens to be my … off day, so no sweat. So, bring it on. What, it’s only 2 pm? I’ll just watch the grass grow then.

“Rrrrrinnnng…” the tow truck dude calls up. Warns me, well informs me, not to be towed by any other truck that shows up (wah, competition must be hot, eh?). He instantaneously reels off his truck number and even tells me what colour his truck is (orange).

Half an hour of watching the grass growing later, still no show. What the fook? Ring him up. Apparently he is now in Cyberjaya picking up two Mercs which had crashed badly.

Oh look, grass-cutters. Three of them. I am bored aren’t I?

Hey, look again, grass-cutters cheat. Well, two of them anyway. They miss cutting the sides. They just “happen” to do the middle bit only then quickly cross the road to the round-about. Maybe they hate their pay package huh? No overtime. Or they missed reading the latest memo.

The third one did tho. Very meticulous. Maybe he has OCD (like me). Doesn’t miss a single blade, if you believe me, but he’s 1,000% better at his job than the other two. God will be pleased with him.

I believe that’s the way of the world huh? Yes, even in the career path of the lower end of the corporate ladder. And what would be the lowest of the low rung? A garbage collector?

But God still “delights in those whose ways are blameless” (Proverbs 11:20).

Ah, the orange tow truck arrives. It is 14:49 but it won’t tow. It’s more of a “ride” truck. It will pull your car up on its sumptuous bed whence it will royally deliver your darling to be unloaded unto your workshop of choice for a mere RM90.00.

orange truck n kooning

(Above, a tow truck which is actually a “ride” truck.)

view from inside car going up truck

(Above, view from inside KooNing going up the truck.)

truck with poor KooNing

(Above, tow truck driver figuring how to get KooNing on board his Orange “ride” truck.)

So, off I go with him. Aiks, inside his cab is also installed his “ride”, yeah a woman. Okkkkkay. Sweet. Let’s not ask any awkward questions. Every man has that urge, kan? At least it’s not a “pretty boy” or “gorgeous lady boy”.

Not that … that is unusual nowadays.

Even my KooNing has had more than a 10-year relationship with the S Power workshop and she has only clocked up 189,898 kilometres.

Now let us get slightly technical on why my baby gave up on me. Step by step then.

Firstly, she was already giving me a huge clue by not changing up to a higher gear … meaning I should be gentle with her.

Unfortunately, I thought by rev-ing up, sometimes up to 6.500 rpm, I could persuade her to change up, which worked sometimes.

But on that fateful September 2nd it did not. It died. And the engine shut down. Actually I blew the plug coil. Luckily, not the engine. Or was it divine intervention again? Because a blown engine can really make yer nose bleed no?

plug coil

(Above, the plug coil killed by yours truly.)

installing plug coil

(Above, installing the new plug coil. Just blown RM296.)

Now, what I should have done, as advised by mister know-it-all Ah Soon, is to find a spot to park the car safely, switch off the engine and simply re-start her. Like a re-boot. Kick her arse like. Some girls need that once in a while. And some just like it like that. Or am I wrong? Anyway, on to the “stories behind the story”.

Sekian. Catch you later alligator.

THE STORIES BEHIND THE STORY.

STORY #1: As usual, I assure you and give you my solemn assurance that I am not selling or advertising or whatever for S Power or whoever.

STORY #2: The logical (hey, I can be logical at last) reason I am so against taking out my hard-earned dosh on yet another vehicle is because it would be quite pointless.

After all, the KooNing is already my fooking 19th. Yessiree 19 mutha-stoopiak-fooking vehicles since 1979. You want me to shamelessly name them all?

Here goes then. Unless stated as new, all the others are pre-owned.

#1:1979 new RM18,0000 3-door Honda Accord.

#2:1983 new 3-door Ford Laser S.

#3:1983 Mazda 323.

#4:1983 RM40,000 BMW 320 (E21) bought in 1984.

#5:1985 new RM63,000 4-door BMW 320i (E30).

#6:1989 new Nissan Sentra 1.6 (A).

#7:1978 3-door Honda Civic purchased in 1989.

#8:1985 RM108,000 Mercedes Benz 190E, acquired in 1992.

#9:1994 new Toyota Landcruiser which got stolen.

#10:1991 Peugeot 405 GTi purchased in 1994 when

#11:1983 BMW 323i (E21) bought in 1995.

#12:1997 new Audi A4 1.8i.

#13:199? Alfa Romeo 155 1.8i bought in 1999.

#14:1999 new 3-door Proton Satria 1.3 GLi.

#15:2001 new Renault Kangoo 1.4i.

#16:2002 new RM97,000 Mitsubishi Storm 2.5 (A) TDi.

#17:2004 Proton Juara 1.1 (A) bought in 2004, XIOC.

#18:200? 90,000km Proton Waja 1.6 (A) acquired in April, 2007.

#19:2004 new RM63,000 Hyundai Getz “KooNing” 1.3 (A).

#20:200? Pre-owned Volkswagen Beetle maybe?

STORY #3: Blood pressure normal 70/130. Weight 79kg. Waist 37cm. Life is good. Sort of.

STORY #4: If you don’t ride or do any thing slightly “dangerous” or silly before you turn 60 (I’m an ancient 59) you haven’t lived. I can bet you your last ringgit, okay US dollar, you’ll never treasure every hour (or even minutes) you are alive.

Alrighty then, the rest of you nerds, noobs, kooks, knobs and geeks get off that “league of nothing” puke-ter game and head for the great outdoors. Like now?

Take your first step on a trip to, oh Korea? Take up yoga. Go kick up a storm in a temple called Shaolin. Bungy jump. Learn to swim. Stop having sex for a month or longer (or do the opposite, have sex every day). Just do it.

Just be care-fool about it tho. No need to YOLO – observe all the safety precautions first. Me simply wants youse to cum and read some more of my shit.

Until then, kawabungaaaaaaa.

WHY YOU SHOULD GIVE ME THAT SUB EDITOR JOB … AND HOW I GOT IT

So.
Here is my heart-felt plea for a job as a sub editor. Oh yes, you can copy it if you want. I won’t tell anybody.
SAMSUNG

Duck drumstick kwan loh mee topped with interesting newspaper: sure-fire yummy breakfast hor…

Dear HR Manager,
Here are a few reasons why you should hire me to be your Sub Editor:

Let us start with the pre-requisites.

1) Work the graveyard shift: As a copywriter I often work through the night. Yes, until the next morning. The art director and I must come up with several ideas by then. And we must be all bright eyed and bushy-tailed to pitch them as well.
2) Good command of English: With the minimum of words. Or just the right combination of words I can craft a compelling headline and hard-selling copy to go with it. Have been doing that for the past 30 years.
3) Eye for detail: Somebody has to do it. Without fail, it’s me, the copywriter.
4) Good news sense: Not unlike a good selling sense. To turn a story into a must-read story you will need to grab the reader with a heading that could be provocative or you’ll-miss-something or a myriad of other hooks.
Sometimes it can be easy when the news is already hotly desired. Other times, you’ll need an insightful sub editor to flash it out. And in double-quick time too!
Yet…it’s just another day at the office for me.
So what more can I offer? Well, I am an art-based turned writer. so, my eye for beauty goes beyond the words that I have to manage.
Additionally, I also have an inherent marketing sense – honed from decades of working on building brands.
So, if you are looking for some one who can do all of the above-mentioned tasks and still able to cobble a minimal-interest story into a hey-I’m-glad-I-read-that news bite…do give me a shot or shout.

Last but not least, I am happy to inform you that from the write-up above I got hired as an Executive Sub Editor but the salary is disappointing (compared to my copywriter’s pay anyway).

Can Malaysian Insider offer more? Would it be worth it to move? I shall be waiting with bated breath then..
Cheers.

HOW I GOT BACK WITH THE AMBER . . . AND WHY

I confess, I know two, wait, three Ambers.

Looks like everything is turning up in threes these days.

1437501614088

Featured, on the extreme left, is the first one. She’s daughter numero dua by the name of, you guessed it, Amber Koo.

Next up, I know her, she does not know me but I’m following her on facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/therealamberchia?fref=ts

11836668_10153463149032208_7937997721950153792_n

Lastly, my good wife, Amber Hoh.

ah..old age, my fave subject

Oooops, wrong picture, that’s me. Here’s the correct one:

mistress material?

Also wrong one. This one:

hey hey what's cooking little fella?

Ummm, no, no, that’s what she produced. This one then?

L'Oreal Babe

I wish. . . right? Oh, never mind…