You, yes, you Alvin Yan, this story is for you, well, sort of.
Do not get any funny ideas. “Oil” means oil. Not juice. Or cum. Or, look what you’ve made me do.
So Faye means “Faye”. Just like HMS Faye. And ships and cars and motorcycles are always of the female gentle. At one time hurricanes and tornados were always a “she” too. But now there are male God’s “natural” destruction … umm, natural wonders.
So cheong hei me ah? What to do, tell story mah, must pusing sini, pusing sana sikit only keep you interested.
Pix: The Faye cooling off in her home driveway.
Faye is my new … but unfortunately already pre-owned (first owned by one Stephen Christopher Ewan) and first registered on February 11, 2015. Of course to every one else in the whole wide world, it is only an Austrian engineered, ready-to-race KTM RC 390 (373cc only, I guess 390 sounds sexier, no?)
Oh dear, so many side stories and brackets. I like brackets, so never mind lah, let’s press on, shall we?
I do need another beer right about now Alvin. I just polished off one big bottle of Tiger. How about it? One more?
Never mind, just take a look at how the Faye compares with her peers:
I always name my ride. The last two-wheeler, which I traded in for Faye, was called Kitty. She was a Kwacker, I mean Kawasaki KLX 250S (CBU, RM24,800 only).
Let me repeat that: I always name my ride. Well, nowadays not any more.
This is my last, I pray.
So let me name them for you to count.
Forgive me but some are not 100% correct designations: Honda S70. Yamaha 100. Kawasaki KX 100. Suzuki TS 250 (when I was in Canterbury, Kent. Rode in snow, you should try it Alvin). Honda XL 185 (back in Bolehland). Honda XR 250. Kawasaki KDX 250. Kawasaki KLX 250. KTM 250 EXE. Kawasaki KLX 250S. KTM RC 390.
Pix: Kitty sulking at the Chia Motor Racing shop.
Want to know why I name them? No? I’ll tell you anyway. It’s in this quote:
“A woman marries a man hoping to change him. But he never does (change). A man marries a woman hoping she will never change. But she always does (change).”
What has that got to do with naming my vehicles?
Hey, you want me to tell you every little thing? Go Google it. Or ask Elizabeth Taylor. But you cunt. You’ll have to live one wife at a time to know what the fuck I’m whining about. FYI, I’m on wife number three. And it’s still tough as shit. So suck it up yo.
No, I’m not bitter. Wife, I mean life happens and you’ll just have to face it. Oooh, I feel another quotable quote cumming.
“You are blessed if you have foresight. But you are a thousand times blessed if you have insight.”
And I’m not going to explain that either … because this one you can go mad on that Google thingamajig.
So, liddat loh. Eat, sleep, rave.
And I’ll tell you about my 19 or is it 20 four-wheelers (and counting) another day.
Oh shit, I forgot to tell you about Faye’s oil change. Just a normal first thousand service. No big deal.
Da gigantic woweee is that Faye won’t let you cheat on her. You’ll have to open her hole (oil filter orifice, about 1 inch in diameter if you are interested in that sort of detail). There is a sensor that will detect that the oil filter has been changed. Genius eh?
Pix: There’s that clever oil filter hole and how it’s done.
All this was done without fuss at Chia Motor Racing. Wonderful, terribly polite and friendly service. I think it’s because they serve a lot of ang mor, I do mean Caucasian customers. Think only ah, don’t judge me.
Pix: The Faye nailed, luckily not in her belly.
So at 1,241km Faye is ready to race again (after removing that pesky nail of course). Next service 7,500km.
Sekian. Catch you later, alligator.
THE STORIES BEHIND THE STORY.
STORY #1: I assure you and give you my solemn promise that I am not selling or advertising or whatever for KTM, Chia Motor Racing or Papa Johns or Starbucks or Grandma Teh or whoever. Ooops, I just mentioned all of them.
STORY #2: Dosh spent on first service: RM116.00 for two 2-litre synthetic engine oil (used only1.5 litres; remainder kept for next service). RM38.00 for oil filter. RM45.00 for doing all that servicing work.
STORY #3: Lost 2 kg by chucking out the passenger pegs. Who am I kidding? Will the wife ride the Faye? Will I pick up any SPG (sarong party girl)? So, off with them and save 2 kg. Duh … as if I can gain 1 nano second in pick-up. Oh look: a pun. Pick-up, get it? Oh, never mind.
STORY #4: If you don’t ride or do anything slightly “dangerous” or silly before you turn 60 (I’m an ancient 59) you haven’t lived. I can bet you your last ringgit, okay US dollar, you’ll never treasure every hour (or even minutes) you are alive.
So, Alvin Yan, get out there (oh, you are already out there fishing).
Alrighty then, the rest of you noobs and knobs and geeks get off that ‘puter game and head for the great outdoors.
Take your first step on a trip to, oh Nepal. Take up yoga. Go kick up a storm in a temple called Shaolin like Eugenie. Bungy jump. Learn to swim. Stop having sex for a month or longer (or do the opposite, have sex every day). Just do it.
Just be care-fool about it tho. No need to YOLO – observe all the safety precautions first. Me simply wants youse to cum and read some more of my shit.
STORY #5: I’m saving the wife #3 story for another day (see pix below, one of them must be wife numero tiga).
Until then, kawabungaaaaaaa.
Bakar Merah Red Burn 